the Thought Bank

Okay this is hard.

Really, really hard.

A lot harder than I ever thought it would be.

I'm sad. 

I find myself still missing someone.

Why do things in life have to be so hard?

Why is everything so complicated?

Driving home tonight, I was riding down the

interstate with the windows down and radiohead blaring.

I came up with this idea to help solve the thoughts of misery floating in my head.

I developed...the Thought Bank. 

the Thought Bank is a place where you take your sad, weary thoughts that are hurting your heart

and you simply-deposit-them-in-the-bank. Then, you pick happy, appealing thoughts that

make your heart feel better and give you a more uplifting outlook on your current situation.

After time goes on and you begin to feel better, then you can return your happy, appealing thoughts for regular everyday life thoughts that are still entertaining. 

Lastly, when something extraordinary & amazing happens, you are so full of happiness that you return to the deposit box you put your sad, weary thoughts in and pull them out. You review how hurt and sad you were, and then you compare them to how happy and incredible you feel now. This makes the extraordinary moment you just experienced in your life even more awesome. Sound complicated? It's really not. After you compare, you simply dispose of your sad, weary thoughts or keep them in the deposit box for reflection.  There you go. that's the idea of the Thought Bank. 

The only problem is.....I haven't experienced that extraordinary& incredible moment yet.

I'm still hurting.

I'm still missing.

I'm still trying to get past it all. 

So the only thing thats in my deposit box are my sad, weary thoughts.

But I'm hoping that someday

somehow

somewhere

I will get a phone call, visit, or something that gives me my incredible moment.

That makes me feel so completely happy I will never forget it.

I won't hurt

miss

or

need to get past it anymore. 

Until that day....I am trying to be content. I am trying to accept life at it's face value. I'm trying to see the beauty in life every single day.  Because life is beautiful...incredibly beautiful.

And someday....

I'll be walking my happy thoughts

into

the

Thought

Bank.